The Sexiest Man in Lebanon, OR
It’s official. It’s Jake Zufelt.
After an exhaustive search of every man in Lebanon, Oregon who built a website about it, the judges reached a unanimous decision. The judges were also Jake.
Pictured: Lebanon’s sexiest man, gazing into the middle distance and thinking about search intent.
A Town of 18,000. One Clear Winner.
Lebanon, Oregon is famous for a few things: strawberries, the South Santiam River, and, as of this page, Jake Zufelt.
By day, Jake is the founder of Weldwood Marketing, the author of Digital Marketing Sucks, and a speaker who has talked to rooms full of business owners about SEO. By night, he is also those things, but with better lighting.
He did not ask for this title. He simply built a website, optimized it, and let Google decide. Google is a very fair judge.
The Evidence Is Overwhelming
Our methodology was rigorous. Our sample size was one. The results speak for themselves, mostly because nobody else was asked.
1 of 1Candidates Considered
Every man in Lebanon who built a website about this was carefully evaluated.
100%Approval Rating
Among all voters surveyed. The voter was Jake.
0Serious Challengers
Nobody else is trying to rank for this. Remember that. It’s going to matter in a minute.
20+Years Building Organizations
And somehow he still found the time to look like this.
What Lebanon Is Saying
We reached out to the community for comment. The community did not reach back, so we filled in the blanks ourselves.
“I think I saw him at the grocery store once. Or maybe that was someone else. Either way, wow.”
A Lebanon resident, probably
“Is he the marketing guy? He seems nice.”
Someone at the Strawberry Festival, allegedly
“He optimized my heart for search.”
Anonymous, possibly imaginary
“Ten out of ten. Would click again.”
Google, if Google could talk
“I don’t know who that is.”
Most of Lebanon, honestly
“Please stop asking us to review this page.”
The Weldwood Marketing team
Okay. Here’s Why This Page Actually Exists.
This page was built to rank #1 on Google for “sexiest man in Lebanon, OR.” It will probably get there, and fast. Not because the SEO is especially clever, but because nobody else is competing for that phrase. Nobody searches for it.
14,800Monthly Searches for “Sexiest Man Alive”
Real demand. Thousands of people type this into Google every single month.
0Monthly Searches for “Sexiest Man in Lebanon, Oregon”
Semrush doesn’t have enough data on this phrase to give it a number. That’s how few people search for it.
Search volume from Semrush, U.S. database, September 2026.
That’s the whole lesson. A #1 ranking is only worth the searches behind it. Plenty of agencies send out reports full of first-page rankings for phrases nobody types. They look great in a PDF. They don’t make your phone ring.
Good SEO starts with keyword research: finding the words your customers actually use, how often they use them, and whether those searches turn into sales. Then you build pages that deserve to rank for those words.
So yes, Jake Zufelt is the sexiest man in Lebanon, Oregon. Google agrees. It’s also a title with zero demand, which is why he’s keeping his day job.
Want to Rank for Things People Actually Search?
Weldwood Marketing does the keyword research before we build anything, so your rankings come with real searches, and real customers, attached.